UTOPIAS003
I started writing these notes because I like to write and I stopped because I was getting overwhelmed with the work and also because I was afraid of being known as a critic rather than a real big time artist like I wanted to be at the time. I have returned because I have found the thoughts to still fill my day and I'm banking on this recording to help synthesize them and maybe build bridges between others thinking through the same worlds. I also want to experiment with new forms like this video feed that might feel more organic to the way they appear in my head.
This is a collection of the sounds and visions that have been on my mind recently whether it be the projects I'm developing myself or the ancestors I look to for guidance.
UTOPIAS
003
This month, I first shared more about this project that I've been working on for the past year. It has been nerve wracking to put something out into the world because it requires me to commit to the work that I prefer to maintain as a fluid blob in my head. Looking back on last year, I am noticing how I tend to work alone, banging ideas in the space behind my eyes. I have always envisioned this project to extend beyond myself as I think about what it means to speak on new land that I cannot call my own. But now I feel paralyzed by something within me that prefers the safety of solitude instead of traveling across the bridge between you and me.
I think the world would be better if we learned how to do that more often. Since the beginning, I have struggled with the solitude of archival research and the collective possibilities I imagined with what I encountered. Working with my tools often glued me to my screens in the quiet rooms of my home in a secluded pocket of Echo Park. I now want to use this material of recorded life to create a counter-archive of the memories past and future where we could find each other.
UTOPIAS
003
The whole project started to come into sight for me on a plane ride back to LA where I feverishly drew out these notes. I have felt confined to using words to replicate what I see but constantly come up empty. This sound system is a shape, space, and feeling that keeps resonating for me. I imagine one day having a big dance party in the middle surrounded by the energies of an archive.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
Gaga's MAYHEM eats itself from the inside out of the American music body. In the prism of herself, she refracts Michael Jackson, Prince, Kurt Cobain, Taylor Swift, even Gaga.
When I tell you I've listened to this song every day maybe 60+ times. This has changed me in a way I can't explain. Maybe one of her best songs I've ever heard.
UTOPIAS
003
This year, I'm collaborating on a project with my family called TierraMadre.
I was born and raised in a small Denver suburb called Thornton. My Mom was also born here in her father's lifelong migration northward chasing the American Dream. It was also in a high school English class where my grandmother, Rachael, first taught my Mom and would come to raise her and me as her own.
I've been pulled home more and more lately as dementia devours Rachael's brain. For the first time, it is now us who have to take care of her — an anguish that I have never known before. I keep trying to hold her memories together but they always seem to slip through our fingers like sand.
This work is an assemblage of many things that is, above all, a practice of preservation and imagination. What began as a family documentary is quickly growing into a body of work that finds truth in the space between fact and fiction. Through photo, film, research, and performance, we are creating an American epic out of wayward relationships.
I bawled my eyes out listening to this song in my car thinking about how far away i am from my family and the loneliness that i believe we all share. The way she takes flight at 2:45 still makes me tingle.
UTOPIAS
003
SEED
001
Interview (or at the very least converse) with your favorite teacher. The two on my mind right now are my thesis advisor and the inimitable English professor who showed me the beating heart at the center of Nabokov's universe.
SEED
002
Visually document your life for a week and make it into a GIF
SEED
003
Hang out with strangers. Even better if you live, work, or spend a lot of time near them. I still have to take up the neighbor behind me (who has lived here for decades) for coffee.
UTOPIAS
003
Y'all this website is so great. Basically a guide for how to work together to create cool shit written as little recipes. I like how to-the-point and useful they are and the way they create blueprints for coming together.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
UTOPIAS003
I started writing these notes because I like to write and I stopped because I was getting overwhelmed with the work and also because I was afraid of being known as a critic rather than a real big time artist like I wanted to be at the time. I have returned because I have found the thoughts to still fill my day and I'm banking on this recording to help synthesize them and maybe build bridges between others thinking through the same worlds. I also want to experiment with new forms like this video feed that might feel more organic to the way they appear in my head.
This is a collection of the sounds and visions that have been on my mind recently whether it be the projects I'm developing myself or the ancestors I look to for guidance.
UTOPIAS
003
This month, I first shared more about this project that I've been working on for the past year. It has been nerve wracking to put something out into the world because it requires me to commit to the work that I prefer to maintain as a fluid blob in my head. Looking back on last year, I am noticing how I tend to work alone, banging ideas in the space behind my eyes. I have always envisioned this project to extend beyond myself as I think about what it means to speak on new land that I cannot call my own. But now I feel paralyzed by something within me that prefers the safety of solitude instead of traveling across the bridge between you and me.
I think the world would be better if we learned how to do that more often. Since the beginning, I have struggled with the solitude of archival research and the collective possibilities I imagined with what I encountered. Working with my tools often glued me to my screens in the quiet rooms of my home in a secluded pocket of Echo Park. I now want to use this material of recorded life to create a counter-archive of the memories past and future where we could find each other.
UTOPIAS
003
The whole project started to come into sight for me on a plane ride back to LA where I feverishly drew out these notes. I have felt confined to using words to replicate what I see but constantly come up empty. This sound system is a shape, space, and feeling that keeps resonating for me. I imagine one day having a big dance party in the middle surrounded by the energies of an archive.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
Gaga's MAYHEM eats itself from the inside out of the American music body. In the prism of herself, she refracts Michael Jackson, Prince, Kurt Cobain, Taylor Swift, even Gaga.
When I tell you I've listened to this song every day maybe 60+ times. This has changed me in a way I can't explain. Maybe one of her best songs I've ever heard.
UTOPIAS
003
This year, I'm collaborating on a project with my family called TierraMadre.
I was born and raised in a small Denver suburb called Thornton. My Mom was also born here in her father's lifelong migration northward chasing the American Dream. It was also in a high school English class where my grandmother, Rachael, first taught my Mom and would come to raise her and me as her own.
I've been pulled home more and more lately as dementia devours Rachael's brain. For the first time, it is now us who have to take care of her — an anguish that I have never known before. I keep trying to hold her memories together but they always seem to slip through our fingers like sand.
This work is an assemblage of many things that is, above all, a practice of preservation and imagination. What began as a family documentary is quickly growing into a body of work that finds truth in the space between fact and fiction. Through photo, film, research, and performance, we are creating an American epic out of wayward relationships.
I bawled my eyes out listening to this song in my car thinking about how far away i am from my family and the loneliness that i believe we all share. The way she takes flight at 2:45 still makes me tingle.
UTOPIAS
003
SEED
001
Interview (or at the very least converse) with your favorite teacher. The two on my mind right now are my thesis advisor and the inimitable English professor who showed me the beating heart at the center of Nabokov's universe.
SEED
002
Visually document your life for a week and make it into a GIF
SEED
003
Hang out with strangers. Even better if you live, work, or spend a lot of time near them. I still have to take up the neighbor behind me (who has lived here for decades) for coffee.
UTOPIAS
003
Y'all this website is so great. Basically a guide for how to work together to create cool shit written as little recipes. I like how to-the-point and useful they are and the way they create blueprints for coming together.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
UTOPIAS003
I started writing these notes because I like to write and I stopped because I was getting overwhelmed with the work and also because I was afraid of being known as a critic rather than a real big time artist like I wanted to be at the time. I have returned because I have found the thoughts to still fill my day and I'm banking on this recording to help synthesize them and maybe build bridges between others thinking through the same worlds. I also want to experiment with new forms like this video feed that might feel more organic to the way they appear in my head.
This is a collection of the sounds and visions that have been on my mind recently whether it be the projects I'm developing myself or the ancestors I look to for guidance.
UTOPIAS
003
This month, I first shared more about this project that I've been working on for the past year. It has been nerve wracking to put something out into the world because it requires me to commit to the work that I prefer to maintain as a fluid blob in my head. Looking back on last year, I am noticing how I tend to work alone, banging ideas in the space behind my eyes. I have always envisioned this project to extend beyond myself as I think about what it means to speak on new land that I cannot call my own. But now I feel paralyzed by something within me that prefers the safety of solitude instead of traveling across the bridge between you and me.
I think the world would be better if we learned how to do that more often. Since the beginning, I have struggled with the solitude of archival research and the collective possibilities I imagined with what I encountered. Working with my tools often glued me to my screens in the quiet rooms of my home in a secluded pocket of Echo Park. I now want to use this material of recorded life to create a counter-archive of the memories past and future where we could find each other.
UTOPIAS
003
The whole project started to come into sight for me on a plane ride back to LA where I feverishly drew out these notes. I have felt confined to using words to replicate what I see but constantly come up empty. This sound system is a shape, space, and feeling that keeps resonating for me. I imagine one day having a big dance party in the middle surrounded by the energies of an archive.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
Gaga's MAYHEM eats itself from the inside out of the American music body. In the prism of herself, she refracts Michael Jackson, Prince, Kurt Cobain, Taylor Swift, even Gaga.
When I tell you I've listened to this song every day maybe 60+ times. This has changed me in a way I can't explain. Maybe one of her best songs I've ever heard.
UTOPIAS
003
This year, I'm collaborating on a project with my family called TierraMadre.
I was born and raised in a small Denver suburb called Thornton. My Mom was also born here in her father's lifelong migration northward chasing the American Dream. It was also in a high school English class where my grandmother, Rachael, first taught my Mom and would come to raise her and me as her own.
I've been pulled home more and more lately as dementia devours Rachael's brain. For the first time, it is now us who have to take care of her — an anguish that I have never known before. I keep trying to hold her memories together but they always seem to slip through our fingers like sand.
This work is an assemblage of many things that is, above all, a practice of preservation and imagination. What began as a family documentary is quickly growing into a body of work that finds truth in the space between fact and fiction. Through photo, film, research, and performance, we are creating an American epic out of wayward relationships.
I bawled my eyes out listening to this song in my car thinking about how far away i am from my family and the loneliness that i believe we all share. The way she takes flight at 2:45 still makes me tingle.
UTOPIAS
003
SEED
001
Interview (or at the very least converse) with your favorite teacher. The two on my mind right now are my thesis advisor and the inimitable English professor who showed me the beating heart at the center of Nabokov's universe.
SEED
002
Visually document your life for a week and make it into a GIF
SEED
003
Hang out with strangers. Even better if you live, work, or spend a lot of time near them. I still have to take up the neighbor behind me (who has lived here for decades) for coffee.
UTOPIAS
003
Y'all this website is so great. Basically a guide for how to work together to create cool shit written as little recipes. I like how to-the-point and useful they are and the way they create blueprints for coming together.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
UTOPIAS003
I started writing these notes because I like to write and I stopped because I was getting overwhelmed with the work and also because I was afraid of being known as a critic rather than a real big time artist like I wanted to be at the time. I have returned because I have found the thoughts to still fill my day and I'm banking on this recording to help synthesize them and maybe build bridges between others thinking through the same worlds. I also want to experiment with new forms like this video feed that might feel more organic to the way they appear in my head.
This is a collection of the sounds and visions that have been on my mind recently whether it be the projects I'm developing myself or the ancestors I look to for guidance.
UTOPIAS
003
This month, I first shared more about this project that I've been working on for the past year. It has been nerve wracking to put something out into the world because it requires me to commit to the work that I prefer to maintain as a fluid blob in my head. Looking back on last year, I am noticing how I tend to work alone, banging ideas in the space behind my eyes. I have always envisioned this project to extend beyond myself as I think about what it means to speak on new land that I cannot call my own. But now I feel paralyzed by something within me that prefers the safety of solitude instead of traveling across the bridge between you and me.
I think the world would be better if we learned how to do that more often. Since the beginning, I have struggled with the solitude of archival research and the collective possibilities I imagined with what I encountered. Working with my tools often glued me to my screens in the quiet rooms of my home in a secluded pocket of Echo Park. I now want to use this material of recorded life to create a counter-archive of the memories past and future where we could find each other.
UTOPIAS
003
The whole project started to come into sight for me on a plane ride back to LA where I feverishly drew out these notes. I have felt confined to using words to replicate what I see but constantly come up empty. This sound system is a shape, space, and feeling that keeps resonating for me. I imagine one day having a big dance party in the middle surrounded by the energies of an archive.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
Gaga's MAYHEM eats itself from the inside out of the American music body. In the prism of herself, she refracts Michael Jackson, Prince, Kurt Cobain, Taylor Swift, even Gaga.
When I tell you I've listened to this song every day maybe 60+ times. This has changed me in a way I can't explain. Maybe one of her best songs I've ever heard.
UTOPIAS
003
This year, I'm collaborating on a project with my family called TierraMadre.
I was born and raised in a small Denver suburb called Thornton. My Mom was also born here in her father's lifelong migration northward chasing the American Dream. It was also in a high school English class where my grandmother, Rachael, first taught my Mom and would come to raise her and me as her own.
I've been pulled home more and more lately as dementia devours Rachael's brain. For the first time, it is now us who have to take care of her — an anguish that I have never known before. I keep trying to hold her memories together but they always seem to slip through our fingers like sand.
This work is an assemblage of many things that is, above all, a practice of preservation and imagination. What began as a family documentary is quickly growing into a body of work that finds truth in the space between fact and fiction. Through photo, film, research, and performance, we are creating an American epic out of wayward relationships.
I bawled my eyes out listening to this song in my car thinking about how far away i am from my family and the loneliness that i believe we all share. The way she takes flight at 2:45 still makes me tingle.
UTOPIAS
003
SEED
001
Interview (or at the very least converse) with your favorite teacher. The two on my mind right now are my thesis advisor and the inimitable English professor who showed me the beating heart at the center of Nabokov's universe.
SEED
002
Visually document your life for a week and make it into a GIF
SEED
003
Hang out with strangers. Even better if you live, work, or spend a lot of time near them. I still have to take up the neighbor behind me (who has lived here for decades) for coffee.
UTOPIAS
003
Y'all this website is so great. Basically a guide for how to work together to create cool shit written as little recipes. I like how to-the-point and useful they are and the way they create blueprints for coming together.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
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UTOPIAS003
I started writing these notes because I like to write and I stopped because I was getting overwhelmed with the work and also because I was afraid of being known as a critic rather than a real big time artist like I wanted to be at the time. I have returned because I have found the thoughts to still fill my day and I'm banking on this recording to help synthesize them and maybe build bridges between others thinking through the same worlds. I also want to experiment with new forms like this video feed that might feel more organic to the way they appear in my head.
This is a collection of the sounds and visions that have been on my mind recently whether it be the projects I'm developing myself or the ancestors I look to for guidance.
UTOPIAS
003
This month, I first shared more about this project that I've been working on for the past year. It has been nerve wracking to put something out into the world because it requires me to commit to the work that I prefer to maintain as a fluid blob in my head. Looking back on last year, I am noticing how I tend to work alone, banging ideas in the space behind my eyes. I have always envisioned this project to extend beyond myself as I think about what it means to speak on new land that I cannot call my own. But now I feel paralyzed by something within me that prefers the safety of solitude instead of traveling across the bridge between you and me.
I think the world would be better if we learned how to do that more often. Since the beginning, I have struggled with the solitude of archival research and the collective possibilities I imagined with what I encountered. Working with my tools often glued me to my screens in the quiet rooms of my home in a secluded pocket of Echo Park. I now want to use this material of recorded life to create a counter-archive of the memories past and future where we could find each other.
UTOPIAS
003
The whole project started to come into sight for me on a plane ride back to LA where I feverishly drew out these notes. I have felt confined to using words to replicate what I see but constantly come up empty. This sound system is a shape, space, and feeling that keeps resonating for me. I imagine one day having a big dance party in the middle surrounded by the energies of an archive.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
Gaga's MAYHEM eats itself from the inside out of the American music body. In the prism of herself, she refracts Michael Jackson, Prince, Kurt Cobain, Taylor Swift, even Gaga.
When I tell you I've listened to this song every day maybe 60+ times. This has changed me in a way I can't explain. Maybe one of her best songs I've ever heard.
UTOPIAS
003
This year, I'm collaborating on a project with my family called TierraMadre.
I was born and raised in a small Denver suburb called Thornton. My Mom was also born here in her father's lifelong migration northward chasing the American Dream. It was also in a high school English class where my grandmother, Rachael, first taught my Mom and would come to raise her and me as her own.
I've been pulled home more and more lately as dementia devours Rachael's brain. For the first time, it is now us who have to take care of her — an anguish that I have never known before. I keep trying to hold her memories together but they always seem to slip through our fingers like sand.
This work is an assemblage of many things that is, above all, a practice of preservation and imagination. What began as a family documentary is quickly growing into a body of work that finds truth in the space between fact and fiction. Through photo, film, research, and performance, we are creating an American epic out of the wayward lives of impossible relationships.
I bawled my eyes out listening to this song in my car thinking about how far away i am from my family and the loneliness that i believe we all share. The way she takes flight at 2:45 still makes me tingle.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
SEED
001
Interview (or at the very least converse) with your favorite teacher. The two on my mind right now are my thesis advisor and the inimitable English professor who showed me the beating heart at the center of Nabokov's universe.
SEED
002
Visually document your life for a week and make it into a GIF
SEED
003
Hang out with strangers. Even better if you live, work, or spend a lot of time near them. I still have to take up the neighbor behind me (who has lived here for decades) for coffee.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
Y'all this website is so great. Basically a guide for how to work together to create cool shit written as little recipes. I like how to-the-point and useful they are and the way they create blueprints for coming together.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
UTOPIAS003
I started writing these notes because I like to write and I stopped because I was getting overwhelmed with the work and also because I was afraid of being known as a critic rather than a real big time artist like I wanted to be at the time. I have returned because I have found the thoughts to still fill my day and I'm banking on this recording to help synthesize them and maybe build bridges between others thinking through the same worlds. I also want to experiment with new forms like this video feed that might feel more organic to the way they appear in my head.
This is a collection of the sounds and visions that have been on my mind recently whether it be the projects I'm developing myself or the ancestors I look to for guidance.
UTOPIAS
003
This month, I first shared more about this project that I've been working on for the past year. It has been nerve wracking to put something out into the world because it requires me to commit to the work that I prefer to maintain as a fluid blob in my head. Looking back on last year, I am noticing how I tend to work alone, banging ideas in the space behind my eyes. I have always envisioned this project to extend beyond myself as I think about what it means to speak on new land that I cannot call my own. But now I feel paralyzed by something within me that prefers the safety of solitude instead of traveling across the bridge between you and me.
I think the world would be better if we learned how to do that more often. Since the beginning, I have struggled with the solitude of archival research and the collective possibilities I imagined with what I encountered. Working with my tools often glued me to my screens in the quiet rooms of my home in a secluded pocket of Echo Park. I now want to use this material of recorded life to create a counter-archive of the memories past and future where we could find each other.
UTOPIAS
003
The whole project started to come into sight for me on a plane ride back to LA where I feverishly drew out these notes. I have felt confined to using words to replicate what I see but constantly come up empty. This sound system is a shape, space, and feeling that keeps resonating for me. I imagine one day having a big dance party in the middle surrounded by the energies of an archive.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
Gaga's MAYHEM eats itself from the inside out of the American music body. In the prism of herself, she refracts Michael Jackson, Prince, Kurt Cobain, Taylor Swift, even Gaga.
When I tell you I've listened to this song every day maybe 60+ times. This has changed me in a way I can't explain. Maybe one of her best songs I've ever heard.
UTOPIAS
003
This year, I'm collaborating on a project with my family called TierraMadre.
I was born and raised in a small Denver suburb called Thornton. My Mom was also born here in her father's lifelong migration northward chasing the American Dream. It was also in a high school English class where my grandmother, Rachael, first taught my Mom and would come to raise her and me as her own.
I've been pulled home more and more lately as dementia devours Rachael's brain. For the first time, it is now us who have to take care of her — an anguish that I have never known before. I keep trying to hold her memories together but they always seem to slip through our fingers like sand.
This work is an assemblage of many things that is, above all, a practice of preservation and imagination. What began as a family documentary is quickly growing into a body of work that finds truth in the space between fact and fiction. Through photo, film, research, and performance, we are creating an American epic out of the wayward lives of impossible relationships.
I bawled my eyes out listening to this song in my car thinking about how far away i am from my family and the loneliness that i believe we all share. The way she takes flight at 2:45 still makes me tingle.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
SEED
001
Interview (or at the very least converse) with your favorite teacher. The two on my mind right now are my thesis advisor and the inimitable English professor who showed me the beating heart at the center of Nabokov's universe.
SEED
002
Visually document your life for a week and make it into a GIF
SEED
003
Hang out with strangers. Even better if you live, work, or spend a lot of time near them. I still have to take up the neighbor behind me (who has lived here for decades) for coffee.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
Y'all this website is so great. Basically a guide for how to work together to create cool shit written as little recipes. I like how to-the-point and useful they are and the way they create blueprints for coming together.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
UTOPIAS003
I started writing these notes because I like to write and I stopped because I was getting overwhelmed with the work and also because I was afraid of being known as a critic rather than a real big time artist like I wanted to be at the time. I have returned because I have found the thoughts to still fill my day and I'm banking on this recording to help synthesize them and maybe build bridges between others thinking through the same worlds. I also want to experiment with new forms like this video feed that might feel more organic to the way they appear in my head.
This is a collection of the sounds and visions that have been on my mind recently whether it be the projects I'm developing myself or the ancestors I look to for guidance.
UTOPIAS
003
This month, I first shared more about this project that I've been working on for the past year. It has been nerve wracking to put something out into the world because it requires me to commit to the work that I prefer to maintain as a fluid blob in my head. Looking back on last year, I am noticing how I tend to work alone, banging ideas in the space behind my eyes. I have always envisioned this project to extend beyond myself as I think about what it means to speak on new land that I cannot call my own. But now I feel paralyzed by something within me that prefers the safety of solitude instead of traveling across the bridge between you and me.
I think the world would be better if we learned how to do that more often. Since the beginning, I have struggled with the solitude of archival research and the collective possibilities I imagined with what I encountered. Working with my tools often glued me to my screens in the quiet rooms of my home in a secluded pocket of Echo Park. I now want to use this material of recorded life to create a counter-archive of the memories past and future where we could find each other.
UTOPIAS
003
The whole project started to come into sight for me on a plane ride back to LA where I feverishly drew out these notes. I have felt confined to using words to replicate what I see but constantly come up empty. This sound system is a shape, space, and feeling that keeps resonating for me. I imagine one day having a big dance party in the middle surrounded by the energies of an archive.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
Gaga's MAYHEM eats itself from the inside out of the American music body. In the prism of herself, she refracts Michael Jackson, Prince, Kurt Cobain, Taylor Swift, even Gaga.
When I tell you I've listened to this song every day maybe 60+ times. This has changed me in a way I can't explain. Maybe one of her best songs I've ever heard.
UTOPIAS
003
This year, I'm collaborating on a project with my family called TierraMadre.
I was born and raised in a small Denver suburb called Thornton. My Mom was also born here in her father's lifelong migration northward chasing the American Dream. It was also in a high school English class where my grandmother, Rachael, first taught my Mom and would come to raise her and me as her own.
I've been pulled home more and more lately as dementia devours Rachael's brain. For the first time, it is now us who have to take care of her — an anguish that I have never known before. I keep trying to hold her memories together but they always seem to slip through our fingers like sand.
This work is an assemblage of many things that is, above all, a practice of preservation and imagination. What began as a family documentary is quickly growing into a body of work that finds truth in the space between fact and fiction. Through photo, film, research, and performance, we are creating an American epic out of the wayward lives of impossible relationships.
I bawled my eyes out listening to this song in my car thinking about how far away i am from my family and the loneliness that i believe we all share. The way she takes flight at 2:45 still makes me tingle.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
SEED
001
Interview (or at the very least converse) with your favorite teacher. The two on my mind right now are my thesis advisor and the inimitable English professor who showed me the beating heart at the center of Nabokov's universe.
SEED
002
Visually document your life for a week and make it into a GIF
SEED
003
Hang out with strangers. Even better if you live, work, or spend a lot of time near them. I still have to take up the neighbor behind me (who has lived here for decades) for coffee.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
Y'all this website is so great. Basically a guide for how to work together to create cool shit written as little recipes. I like how to-the-point and useful they are and the way they create blueprints for coming together.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
UTOPIAS003
I started writing these notes because I like to write and I stopped because I was getting overwhelmed with the work and also because I was afraid of being known as a critic rather than a real big time artist like I wanted to be at the time. I have returned because I have found the thoughts to still fill my day and I'm banking on this recording to help synthesize them and maybe build bridges between others thinking through the same worlds. I also want to experiment with new forms like this video feed that might feel more organic to the way they appear in my head.
This is a collection of the sounds and visions that have been on my mind recently whether it be the projects I'm developing myself or the ancestors I look to for guidance.
UTOPIAS
003
This month, I first shared more about this project that I've been working on for the past year. It has been nerve wracking to put something out into the world because it requires me to commit to the work that I prefer to maintain as a fluid blob in my head. Looking back on last year, I am noticing how I tend to work alone, banging ideas in the space behind my eyes. I have always envisioned this project to extend beyond myself as I think about what it means to speak on new land that I cannot call my own. But now I feel paralyzed by something within me that prefers the safety of solitude instead of traveling across the bridge between you and me.
I think the world would be better if we learned how to do that more often. Since the beginning, I have struggled with the solitude of archival research and the collective possibilities I imagined with what I encountered. Working with my tools often glued me to my screens in the quiet rooms of my home in a secluded pocket of Echo Park. I now want to use this material of recorded life to create a counter-archive of the memories past and future where we could find each other.
UTOPIAS
003
The whole project started to come into sight for me on a plane ride back to LA where I feverishly drew out these notes. I have felt confined to using words to replicate what I see but constantly come up empty. This sound system is a shape, space, and feeling that keeps resonating for me. I imagine one day having a big dance party in the middle surrounded by the energies of an archive.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
Gaga's MAYHEM eats itself from the inside out of the American music body. In the prism of herself, she refracts Michael Jackson, Prince, Kurt Cobain, Taylor Swift, even Gaga.
When I tell you I've listened to this song every day maybe 60+ times. This has changed me in a way I can't explain. Maybe one of her best songs I've ever heard.
UTOPIAS
003
This year, I'm collaborating on a project with my family called TierraMadre.
I was born and raised in a small Denver suburb called Thornton. My Mom was also born here in her father's lifelong migration northward chasing the American Dream. It was also in a high school English class where my grandmother, Rachael, first taught my Mom and would come to raise her and me as her own.
I've been pulled home more and more lately as dementia devours Rachael's brain. For the first time, it is now us who have to take care of her — an anguish that I have never known before. I keep trying to hold her memories together but they always seem to slip through our fingers like sand.
This work is an assemblage of many things that is, above all, a practice of preservation and imagination. What began as a family documentary is quickly growing into a body of work that finds truth in the space between fact and fiction. Through photo, film, research, and performance, we are creating an American epic out of the wayward lives of impossible relationships.
I bawled my eyes out listening to this song in my car thinking about how far away i am from my family and the loneliness that i believe we all share. The way she takes flight at 2:45 still makes me tingle.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
SEED
001
Interview (or at the very least converse) with your favorite teacher. The two on my mind right now are my thesis advisor and the inimitable English professor who showed me the beating heart at the center of Nabokov's universe.
SEED
002
Visually document your life for a week and make it into a GIF
SEED
003
Hang out with strangers. Even better if you live, work, or spend a lot of time near them. I still have to take up the neighbor behind me (who has lived here for decades) for coffee.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
Y'all this website is so great. Basically a guide for how to work together to create cool shit written as little recipes. I like how to-the-point and useful they are and the way they create blueprints for coming together.
UTOPIAS
003
History has left in us an infinity of traces all kinds of marks, you know, through heredity, through collective experience, through individual experience, through family experience, relations between one individual and another, a whole book, if you like, on a series of, an infinity of traces, but there is no inventory, there's no orderly guide to it.
UTOPIAS
003
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